Mind-numbing, irritating, intermittent bursts of hope and ultimate joy – sometimes parenting is a bit like being on hold.
The Seven Stages Of Being On Hold / Having Children
- Taking the plunge. You’ve been putting it off for a while. Make that call and commit yourself to it.
- Initial shock. No one is there. No one is helping. You’re on your own, just you and your phone.
- Irritating soundtrack. You’re inescapably subjected to someone else’s taste. Noise invades your ears, but you can’t put it down for fear of missing something.
- Attrition. That sound becomes normal. You begin to barely notice it. Actually, you quite like it. You want to hear more of it. Where has it been all your life?
- Burst of hope. The sounds stops. Someone picks up. This state of suspended animation may not, in fact, go on forever, as you were beginning to feel it would, mesmerized as you are in your cocoon of sound.
- Dashing of hope. It was an automated message. The mind-numbing wait continues. But it’s OK. You get to hear that song again…
- Ultimate joy. You got through!
Of course, having children is not like being on hold. Not always. Most of the times I’ve been on hold, there has been no ultimate joy. I’ve got through only to be told I have to phone another number. And hold again…
Oh yes, and kids are way more cuddly than call centres.