If You Prick Us Mums, Do We Not Bleed?

Mums are invincible. Everyone knows that. They have to be. Because kids need us to be invincible. If we crumble when they tantrum, if we cry when they spill our wine, if we crack up when they fart, the whole fabric of the family disintegrates. Imagine what anarchy would ensue if they knew we were exactly like them. Just bigger.
The Speech Mums Will Never Make, from The Mummy of Venice
Wrylock: Hath not a mum bags under her eyes? Hath not a mum red-raw hands, stretchmarks, a slight drinking habit, battered senses, unsuitable affections for CBeebies presenters (a direct result of Stockholm syndrome), passions for Freddo frogs? Fed with 
the same piece of toast (after you’ve licked all the peanut butter off it), hurt with the same sharp fingernails (yours), subject 
to the same nits, healed by the same Hedrin, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as 
a child is?
If you prick us mums, do we not bleed? 

If you tickle us, do we not wee a little bit?
If you’re sick in our hair, do we not blench?
If you charge at us from across the room and head-butt us in the coccyx, do we not yelp?
If you yell for us while we’re on the loo, do we not invoke the right to wee uninterrupted?
If you dribble in our mouth while we’re holding you above our heads, do we not gag?
If you do a bonus poo on our hand as we are wiping the first, do we not recoil?
If you are having a good bath, do we not get soaked?
If you nag us, do we not revolt?
If you shout, do we not glug wine out of the fridge?

If you constantly criticise us, do we not feel small?
If you no longer kiss us, do we not cry inside?
If you poison us, do we not wash your hands a bit better before “doing baking” next time?
And if you wrong us, shall we not have a big cuddle? If we are like you in the rest, we will 
resemble you in that. If a mum wrong a child, what is her humility? A tearful apology and eternal guilt. If a child
 wrong a mum, what should his sufferance be? Why, an enormous hug, an extra bedtime story and utter, unconditional, unceasing, undying love.
And if you put a mum through to the BIBs final, do we not swoon with gratitude and amazement? Thank you so much for all your support.
What other people read on viewing this item:
Knee-High Ninjas – How Babies Get Us Where It Hurts: Featuring the Micro-Pinch, the Thigh Roll and the Boob Bite, among others.
The Present Face – Time To Get Practicing: On how we are more like our children than we might like to admit.

I’ve linked up with #loudnproud this week. I am so incredibly proud to have made it to the BritMums BIBs final, even though I haven’t been very loud about it on my blog.   
Secrets of the   Sandpit
FINALIST BiB 2014 LAUGH

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com




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