Are You Too Polite To Trick or Treat?


Call me English, but I have a natural aversion to thrusting myself in a stranger’s face demanding sugary goods. Is it just me who finds Halloween a little socially awkward? Are you too polite to trick or treat?

Accepting sweets from strangers after dark? What could be more natural? The very things we tell our kids not to do the rest of the year are suddenly positively encouraged on Halloween. Don’t get me wrong, I like the concept of Trick or Treating – I’m all for doing fun stuff with the kids, meeting new people and gorging on sweets. It’s just I’m not sure I want my neighbours’ first impression of me to be of a frazzled witch with a coven full of Haribo-crazed ghouls.

Of course, the key phrase here is: “first impression”. This is the crux of the problem – I don’t know the neighbours. The scariest thing about Halloween is that it highlights my failure to integrate with the people who live within earshot of my trampoline, to weave our family into the very fabric of the local community. And I just don’t like forcing introductions on people when sober, no matter how many baby groups I’ve had to break into over the years. After a drink, I’m everyone’s friend, obviously, but I’m pretty sure that being drunk in charge of a Trick or Treat posse is not my ticket to Neighbourhood Watch glory.

All right on the Fright Night

So it was, that last year, I did a pre-Trick or Treat. We’d just moved in and yes, I went round to a few neighbours’ houses in broad daylight, carrying the calling card of my cute little baby, and asked them if they were happy to receive us on Halloween dressed as zombies. Most were a little taken aback but very amenable; several were extremely friendly. A couple muttered that they didn’t have anything in – but I was ready for them! I had a carrier bag of Tangfastics to dole out, so there were no excuses. No crusty old cooking sultanas or broken Rich Tea fingers for us! So when it came to Halloween, it was all right on the fright night.

My pre-Trick or Treat round even sparked the beginning of a beautiful friendship with a couple of our nearest neighbours. We’re not best buds (they’re my grandma’s age) but we’re on swapping-recipes terms (read, me running round mid-carrot cake asking for cinnamon and, er, flour). But this Halloween, I face the awkward situation of not having seen most of the other neighbours for the whole intervening year. I created the first impression of a fairly normal local mother who is interested in matters such as the campaign for weekly bin collection and better street lighting. I did not completely sully this with our Halloween appearance – “if you scream on their doorstep, there’s no sweets for you, young Darth Maul!” But that’s as far as it went. But perhaps – like certain family members and Christmas – seeing the neighbours but once a year is the best way to keep up good relations?

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14 Comments

  • Jo Nicholson says:

    Thankfully we’re not at the trick or treating stage yet but we do welcome them as O likes dishing out the treats. We actually have the opposite problem, we live in a village where everyone knows each other so it wouldn’t be the done thing to not answer the door! Arghhh, Halloween politics! 👻

  • Jo Sandelson says:

    ‘Drunk in charge of a Trick or Treat posse’ Brilliant. Yes, they can be a bit intimidating. Last year we had our pumpkin smashed in because our treats weren’t up to much. :0 x

  • Emma Martin says:

    Hilarious Jess and so very true! We live up a windy country lane, so it tends to be our three visiting the three neighbours, and that’s it. Thankfully it seems to be enough for them at the moment. I dread the day they want me to drive them to the nearest housing estate!! 🙂 xx

  • I hate trick and treating. I didn’t do it, Molly wont (unless we give sweets to neighbours to hand back to us). I don’t understand it.

  • Nikki Thomas says:

    I have to admit that I’m not really a fan. We have done it for the last couple of years adhering to the pumpkin outside the house rule, but it is dark and cold and yes quite frankly knocking on stranger’s doors isn’t rely my idea of a good fun!

  • Mardy Kerrie says:

    Ha ha brilliant. We are AVID trick or treaters. And by WE I mean my kids. All the kids on the street do it and so most people play nice. Me and Warren just hover at the foot of the path as the kids saunter up bold as brash TRICK OR TREAT!! Great fun*

    *totally not looking forward to this on Friday night…

  • Wow I am very impressed that you spent the time to meet your neighbours first with the pre- trick or treat!!!
    My daughter is only two…but I fear I have all of this to come! x

  • I have just moved into a new area and I am a little concerned. I don’t do or particularly like halloween and I’m worried that by not doing it everyone will hate me, but to be honest don’t agree with it and (more embarrassingly) financially it has been a really tough month and I just don’t have the money to waste on buying anything to give out!

  • Ting Dalton says:

    That is a really good idea. I’m not sure if I’ve made this up but is it etiquette to put a pumpkin in the front window, which indicates you’re up for visitors? My Monkey is a bit young for the Halloween stuff but I reckon he’ll be right into it when he finds out copious amounts of sweets are involved!

  • Anonymous says:

    I hate trick or treating. And I am not talking about going round to other people’s houses but about receiving trick or treaters. It’s just so awkward standing there in front of strange kids in costumes. Should you comment on the costumes, play along and pretend to be scared, do small talk with the adults? By the way, I find carol singers even more awkward – this endless wait until they finish their song. I never know how to stand and what to do with my arms while waiting for them to finish singing. And should I nod and hum along?

  • Oh gosh you would hate American trick or treating we go all out and over the top as usual. I do think when you say it out loud that it is crazy concept. buba was petrified this year. Kept asking to go home even though we only did the house next door and down the street of the people we knew. but he couldn’t recognize them in costume and therefore he hated every minute of it. Even moreso scary clowns that I wasn’t even impressed with coming and ringing our bell screaming trick or treat at the top of their lungs I think have actually scarred him for life and me. lol So our first trick or treat halloween didn’t go as I remember so many of my own trick or treating. I hope that it’s just because they are young. We shall see. Verdict out. Drunk trick or treating I think I would have nightmares of all the costumes. I am a wuss. hahaha But brilliant idea. Thank you so much for linking up to share with me #sharewithme

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