Potty training – what’s the worst that can happen? Don’t let a trouser leg full of poo get you down – use my handy guide to how to make it easy on yourself.
I’m no expert. But I have potty trained three boys and I feel I have left no mistake unturned. If I can help one mother go a day without crying into her child’s tiny, suspiciously squidgy pants, I will be glad. So here’s my dump-by-dump guide:
Know your child’s wee wiggle.
“Do you need the loo?”
“No, I’m just dancing.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m just excited, that’s all!”
Is a conversation I still have even with my oldest (age 7). You know your own child’s moves – maybe they clutch their bottom, dance on the spot, do a little shiver, start talking really fast or high, or make a worried face. (If they make a relieved face, you’re too late. But hey, who’s counting?) Take their cue and run for the loo.
Don’t make it a big deal.
My lovely mummy told me this. I am one of six so she knows a bit about child-rearing. Going to the loo is – obviously – just a normal, natural thing to do. It happens. Several times a day. Of course, get them excited about their new Thomas / Peppa pants and how they’re going to be a “big boy / girl”. But don’t make it such a big deal that you and your toddler get stressed about it. After all…
…What’s the worst that can happen?
The worst that can happen is not a poo in the pants. It’s a poo in the pants when you have no wipes, nappy bags or new clothes. Obviously, I’ve been caught out more times than I care to count and improvised with leaves, scraps of tissue found in pockets and my scarf as a bottom-coverup. So I can advisedly say – don’t forget your changing bag!
Praise, praise, praise
Well all know kids thrive on praise. So pile it on. Even if they didn’t quite make it on time. Even if they told you a little while afterwards, praise them for acknowledging a wayward wee. This might sound contradictory to my “don’t make it a big deal” point, but I think praise is important in the early weeks. When they start to get the hang of it, you can stop calling daddy at work every time there’s a tinkle.
Go out – just not to soft play
Depends on your comfort level, but an accident anywhere outside is never usually a problem, and if you’re at someone else’s house, just don’t let them sit on the sofa. What’s a wee on the carpet between friends, eh? But poo in a ballpit? Best not to go there.
Ask them if they need the loo – but not all the time
Gina Ford says to ask your child every 15 minutes to try the potty. (I read a lot of potty training manuals with my first.) I quickly learned that all this did was annoy my son. Just ask them now and then, and of course just before you leave the house. But I’ve found it better not to nag. To doubt your child’s ability to even know if he needs the loo or not can be undermining to their confidence (even if you turn out to be right. But a lot can change in five minutes.)
Know their toilet timetable
We’re creatures of habit. Most people have regular times when they need a little “alone time” in the smallest room, and children are no different. Obviously, there is a strong correlation between food in, poo out, and same with drinks and wees. But in between meals they can go for ages.
Respect their bladders.
My sons’ bladder control is better than mine. There, I said it. Not much of a surprise after three children, and I’m fortunate not to be in Tena territory yet, but I definitely need the loo more often than my children. My oldest sometimes goes a whole school day without going to the loo, and isn’t even bursting when he comes out. I can only dream of such control.
Use bribes carefully
Lots of people use sweets to reward wees on the potty. But where do you go with that? When do you stop? Reward charts can work, but in my experience, only with older children. My toddler is instant gratification or bust. But of course, if it works for you, go for it.
Put a nappy on first thing.
“Once you’re in pants, stay in pants”. Is true to an extent. With some notable exceptions:
When you’re getting ready in the morning. Mornings are hard enough without the risk of a poo-bombing incident. Especially if you have older kids to get ready too, make it easy for yourself and only put your little one’s pants on when you are all dressed and at hand ready to deal with a loo visit.
On long journeys. And short ones, to start with.
For the first week or so, especially if you’re doing the school run, it takes the stress away if your toddler’s in a pull-up. After a few days, I take the risk and put a towel on the car seat (you can also buy proper protectors, which sound awesome, but I didn’t get one). Then one day, wing it, and your child will probably surprise you.
If it’s too early.
If they’re just not getting it after a couple of weeks, give up and wait a bit. It’s not a race. Don’t make both of you miserable about it.
Don’t worry.
I know it’s easy to say, but there truly are very few adults still in nappies. They will get it. With my first, I clearly remember crying hysterically to a line of indifferent mums at a gym class, because my son had been sent off with wet pants to be changed.
“Why won’t he get it? What shall I do?” I sobbed.
The combination of frustration, humiliation and guilt was too much for me. Frustration that despite being taken to the loo ten minutes before and asked all the way there whether he needed it, he’d still wet himself. Humiliation that I was the only mum who’d failed to potty train my child properly. And guilt that I’d let him down and left him to wee himself in public.
It was brutal.
But I know now – those mums probably wouldn’t have even noticed he’d been sent off for new shorts if I hadn’t howled to them. When you’re potty training, you can feel like the whole world is watching for a telltale patch in your child’s trousers. Which is obviously not true. And more to the point, who cares what they think? If I am judged for a potty training accident, then that is a shame, but so be it.
Reward yourself
Even if you’re being easy on yourself, potty training can be intense and stressful, by its very “race-against-the-plop” nature. But look ahead to three months’ time when you’re accident-free. You did it! Pop a cork!
Good luck to all potty-wielding mothers and their little ones!
What are your top tips? How do you make it easy on yourself?
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Great tips. I need to do this with my son in the next few weeks, and the memory of doing it with my daughter is flooding back! I fear I’ll be doing the ‘do you need a wee?’ every 2 minutes thing soon – must back off a bit!
I know, it’s so tempting! Especially as you know for sure that they need one but are too busy playing to admit it! Good luck!
Wry Mummy recently posted…Potty Training: How To Make It Easier On Yourself
Ha! Cracking post.
I aimed for the ‘one for a wee and two for a poo’ strategy and dished our Haribo.
My son cottoned onto this after two days and prolonged the same wee over four sittings thus reaping multiple rewards. Sneaky little punk!.
Have to potty train the next one soon so this post will save my ass!xx
carry on katy recently posted…5 Things Dads Do Differently To Mums.
Thanks Katy! My toddler spreads his deliveries out too, especially at bedtime…xx
Wry Mummy recently posted…Potty Training: How To Make It Easier On Yourself
Thank you for this! I have bookmarked!!
We are thinking about considering talking about potty training over the next couple of weeks. I am excited about the potential saving on nappies and we are putting off re-carpeting upstairs until the deed is done!
x
#thetruthabout
Betty and the Bumps recently posted…Our trip to Center Parcs, Whinfell Forest
Very good idea to wait for recarpeting! We are doing the same – our upstairs desperately needs doing but we’re not out of the wee wee woods yet with my youngest. x
Love this! We are just about to start potty training so I have pinned this to refer back to as I fear it is not going to be easy with my little man!
Rachel recently posted…A Note From Grandad
Thanks Rachel! Best of luck!
Wry Mummy recently posted…Potty Training: How To Make It Easier On Yourself
Oh potty training – two down, one more to go! It is the stuff of nightmares really but then like childbirth once you’ve cracked you wonder what all the fuss was about. I wish you luck my friend xxx
Complicated Gorgeousness recently posted…How many ways to say I love you?
Thanks Ali! Wow that’s a strong analogy but yes, get the idea! xxx
Wry Mummy recently posted…Potty Training: How To Make It Easier On Yourself
great tips! Good timing for me as yesterday I started trying to potty train my son… It is not going well! He seems to be very stubborn and saves all his wee for when he’s back in pull ups comes the evening! I don’t know how he holds it in all day, but at least I’m not mopping it up!
@katgrant30 recently posted…Life as an “expat”
Oh yes, they love to do that! Mine saves his poos for nap and bedtime, so he has to be got up, changed, then resettled…
Oh Christ I’ve got all this to come again in the not too distant future. I was a bit massively laid back the first time and didn’t push it at all til he was “ready” which fortunately happened just after he turned three, and he got it very quickly (aside from that incident at soft play where wee ended up raining down from level 2 – I know, I know, rookie error!) I’m just scared EJ won’t get it in such good time… at least I’ll have these tips to refer back to anyway! Thanks Jess, and for linking up to #thetruthabout X
Sam recently posted…The Truth about… #25
Ha ha ha – can’t believe the golden shower story! Good luck with Round 2! x
I love this post, really made me chuckle, and I think it will be really useful! We plan to start training Monkey this summer so will be re-reading this over and over then I am sure 🙂 thanks for sharing! Xx #thetruthabout
Caroline (Becoming a SAHM) recently posted…Water Bead Play – 35 mths old
Thanks Caroline – good luck! Summer’s a great time to do it – less washing and more outside opportunities for emergency wees!xx
This is a blimmin’ good post on potty training. I think you’ve got it all covered.
The only thing I would add is don’t leave it too late. I read so much stuff saying leave them until they’re 3, so I did. My eldest had got to the point where he was too clever and defiant to co-operate with me and it ended up being quite stressful. I also had the problem that, as a summer baby, it was getting worrying close to school because the poos too months longer than the wees.
I did my younger son at 2 and 8 months and my daughter at 2 and 2 months. No2 son required no training whatsoever and my daughter took about three days!
Sarah MumofThree World recently posted…The Gallery: Animal (big, fluffy cat)
Fab post Jess! I love the advice about not going out without the changing bag – been there and done it. Usually occurs *just* when you think they’re getting the hang of it. They love to try us, don’t they?! I’ve blotted most of it from my memory to be honest but I do remember getting very stressed out by the middle one who regularly returned home from nursery with a little ‘package’ in her pants! x
Suzanne recently posted…Taming The Beast
Hi Jess, What a great, honest and helpful guide! We were once out and about in some woodland and my son was caught short. I think we’d mastered the potty training by then but as we were so far from home, there were no toilets. We left another little log in the woods that day decorated with autumn leaves! Oh the joys of motherhood 🙂 Tor xx
teacuptoria recently posted…The Truth About Domestic Bliss
It’s always easier to potty train in Summer, (just need to take spare t-shirt and shorts with you).
I agree – less clothes to wash too.
Great post. We have had a potty out for a few months now and we get a few wees on there and even on the toilet. Ive decided next time I have a few days off in a row we will get rid of the nappies all day, rather than just occasionally.
Mum to a Monster recently posted…Fathers day gift guide
Good idea – you do need to be around for a chunk of time to embed the habit. Good luck!
Great tips, I have only recently started thinking about potty training and now I’m dreading it! But I’ll keep your tips in mind 🙂 #sharewithme
Carolyn recently posted…Baby Style: Bow Detail Dress
No, don’t dread it! It can be messy and hair-raising but it will be OK – and over in a few weeks if not days.
Haha! Brilliant. Of course it’s only funny because potty training still seems miles away. I’ll be sobbing into my extra large glass soon enough, I have no doubt.
I dropped you a wee vote for the BiBs, by the way. Good luck!
#brilliantblogposts
Mama, My Kid Doesn’t Poop Rainbows recently posted…Something Which Strikes Dread Into a Parent’s Heart
Hello,
A very helpful post. Hope you don’t mind if I share it.
Now, my daughter took around one week to be potty trained, firstly when I saw that the nappy was always dry at night I started to put her to bed without one.
During the day, I left her all day with no nappy and the potty just near her (summer time of course), there was a few accidents but nothing to serious. She was a very quick learner.
#brilliantblogposts
x Marta
Marta recently posted…Washing curtains: #1 Weekrand
Wow, that’s good she was going dry through the night – I haven’t broached that one yet. Summer is definitely a good time to do it and that’s great your daughter was a good learner. Thanks for sharing x
This is a FAB post! We have been toilet training since December! Yes December! He is not ready to do it fully but he does it most days at least a couple of times so to me, I shall just continue rather than give up! One day, he’ll be completely ready and we’ll go in full swing! Great guide here, thanks for sharing! #brillblogposts
Lisa (mummascribbles) recently posted…Review: Dry Like Me potty training pads and book
It’s a great idea to build them up to it, and like you say, he’ll just get it and hopefully you’ll be done!
I can’t even think about this, but your advice is spot on! I am absolutely dreading it third time around xx
Mummy Tries recently posted…How I got Inspired to Write my Book
Ah you will be fine Renee! It’ll all come flooding back…hopefully not literally. xx
This is such a great post! I’m still a good while off with my boy, but I heard that boys are a little bit harder to potty train than girls, and with my daughter I found it relatively easy, because she was ready for it. Definitely will be keeping your tips in mind when we finally get to go through this. Thank you! x
Isabella @ Fairies & Pirates recently posted…Don’t Call Me Mum
Thanks Isabella! I’ve never had the chance to compare girls and boys but I can say, the good thing with boys is that “jungle weeks” are a lot easier. Once they learn to do it standing up, that is! Good luck!x
Man, I’m really not looking forward to this when Baby L is at the right age. But, great advice – I might have to print out and stick on the wall! 🙂
The DADventurer (Dave) recently posted…Stopping The Baby From Crawling
Great tips! Putting a nappy on during the morning rush is a good idea! I like that one! My little boy was actually fairly easy to potty train. I remember it being fairly stress-free and consequently don’t really remember much about it. He’s 3 and a half now but apart from being desperate some mornings and having to rush to the loo, he’s accident free! 🙂 x
Michelle Bailey recently posted…Am I being unfair, or am I teaching a valuable lesson?
Great timing with this one Jess I am just about to start with MM and I went so horribly wrong with B the first two attempts and he is still not dry at night at 3. So I am practically still potty training the first when I am potty training the second. Epic fail. Great top tips. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme
Jenny recently posted…Letters to him & her ~ #19/#20