How To Decommission The Naughty Cupboard

When you can’t keep the naughty cupboard a secret, is it time to just give it up altogether?

I don’t like chocolate…I LOVE IT! Yet, wherever I hide it, the children find it, like little demon mice scampering all over my pathetic attempts to conceal sugary goodness from them.

I remember a time when I could keep everything – chocolate, biscuits, sweets, lunchbox treats – safe from everyone. Everyone but myself, of course. But I knew that when I came back to my packet of Freddos after taking the first one, there would still be five left.

However, since the children got agile, what I now find is worse than no Freddos – it is five empty Freddo packets, which for one glorious moment look like there’s at least one left for me. But no. My hopes are dashed and my breath taken away by the sheer gall of them.

I know where they get it from. I used to sneak biscuits and all sorts all the time at home. But I’d never have the nerve to leave empty wrappers! Showing not only no concern about getting caught, but no respect either. Is this the kind of ship I run, that I can be freely despoiled of my chocolate goods by my tiny crew, confident that no repercussions will ensue?

Well, it stops here, I tell ye! The naughty cupboard is to be no more!

I’ve had my eye on it for a while. It’s not the ideal naughty cupboard set-up for a number of reasons:

1. It’s right by the fridge and the microwave, so every time I am over there (which is pretty much all the time), I’m tempted to snaffle a square or two, and usually do.
2. It’s dangerous. Not (just) to my waistline, heart health and all that stuff, but to the little monkeys who climb up there and dangle in the corner while they take their pick.
3. It’s full of mouse poo. For some reason, perhaps because I have an obsession with wicker, I use a woven basket to keep my naughty snacks in. As my main treat of choice is Green & Black’s 70%, little black shavings are always escaping through the cracks, making it look like a litter basket for mice. Yeesh.

So, I’m decommissioning the naughty cupboard – but does this mean I’m turning to a life free from sugar?

I’m afraid not.

My chocolate is going in a tub in the sitting room drawer, so I have to actually consciously cover ground and go through two doors to get to it. (I’ll let you know how that goes…!)

And the boys’ snacks?

They’re going in the oven.

I just have to remember to take them out before I turn it on…

Disclaimer: This post is not sponsored by Freddos or Green & Black’s. Quite the reverse.