Hairdressers have a special code. However bad your hair’s turned out, they never gasp or pass you a sick bucket. But through years of experience, I have learnt the phrases that basically mean: CODE RED!
1. “We’re just going to put a treatment on you.”
a) we’ve bleached your hair to kingdom come and it will fall off if we don’t act NOW.
b) we’re running way behind and I’m parking you at the sinks for half an hour while I catch up on my next client.
c) what are we supposed to do when you obviously don’t look after your hair properly?
d) we wish to add £25 to your bill.
None of which is good.
2. Have you thought about a fringe?
IT’S A TRICK! Of course you’ve thought of it – you’re always toying with the idea of a fringe. But if you suited a fringe, you’d already have one, wouldn’t you? Remember last time you had one and had to wash and straighten it twice a day until it eventually grew out two years later? Don’t fall for it!
3. “Sam, can you just put a toner on this?”
You are orange. You are no longer a person but a specimen.
4. “I’m just going to put you back under the heat again.”
You are orange. But they washed half the highlights out before they noticed.
5. “Where did you go last time?”
Your hair is awful. And I’m going to punish you for cheating on us at another hairdresser by metaphorically ripping your hair to shreds.
6. “What products do you use?”
Your hair is like a bird’s nest.
7. “You said three inches off, right?”
You didn’t. You cry.
And the absolute worst:
SILENCE.
They have done wrong. There are no words. They pass you a tissue.
What hairdressing phrases do you dread to hear?
Linking up with #TheList at You Baby Me Mummy and Mums Days.
Oh god I had the fringe. Followed by the silence. Followed by me crying and demanding to see the manager. It was a sad sad sad day! x
brummymummyof2 recently posted…Top Tips for the all New Thomas Land!
I’ll add another one to the list ‘It should come off with a good cleanser,’ whilst looking at your forehead which has been dyed dark brown. A week before your wedding.
Great post honey! Your hair is fab, btw. x
Jude recently posted…What Happens When Your Dream Primary School Just Isn’t?
I’ve done all of those and my hairdresser regularly says “I’m just going to put a toner on this” and I ask every time what a toner is for. Doh! Been there and done the fringe. Disaster!
Suzanne recently posted…Review and Giveaway of the Gigaset C620a Telephone Handset
I knew there was a reason I didn’t go to the hairdresser – they terrify me! I still haven’t recovered from the hairdresser taking several inches off when I was 18 and he was only supposed to be taking the ends off 🙁
Sarah MumofThree World recently posted…To MRI or not to MRI?
Hee hee hee! I’ve had a fair few disasters over the years too. Thankfully I’ve a brilliant hairdresser now who I totally trust. Phew! 🙂 xx
Life at the Little Wood recently posted…Life Lately, and our Easter holidays!
Ah, your hair is gorgeous so she’s obviously a cracker! xx
Makes you wonder what hairdessers say in their back rooms; I’d be worried if they were giggling lol
I had layers and a fringe put in by a dumbass teenager trainee back in 2011. I am still trying to undo her damage. People looked at it and said ‘Oh GAWD, go back and complain!!’. So, if I did, what would she do? Superglue my locks back on??
I looked like a man for 6 months and now I look like a middle aged semi professional knitter called Audrey.
Damn that teen.
Amazing post as always butt xx
Carry On Katy recently posted…How To Get Your Man To Listen To You.
Oh my gosh! Going to the hairdressers can be SO traumatic! I’ll never forget the short layer I was convinced to have which was the worst thing ever for my wavy hair …. agggghhhH!
Megan – truly madly kids recently posted…Image of the Week #12 – Spring has Sprung!
Fab post huni. I remember being nearly scalped by a hairdresser once, I was so shocked I couldn’t even cry! Thanks so much for linking up to #TheList x
You Baby Me Mummy recently posted…Gratitude List #45
OH my goodness, disaster! There’s nothing worse than too-short hair – you can’t stick it back on! At least with dying you can tone it down…x
Oh my gosh! This is so true! But still there are some good hairdressers out there wherein you can achieve what hairstyle you really like.
Team from Bound for Style recently posted…Hello world!
You’re right – but you have to kiss a lot of frogs, I find! 😉