House rules make a happy house. One that runs efficiently, politely, peacefully. Everyone knows what is expected of them and the functioning family relies on them. Right?
I saw something on my friend’s fridge that made my blood run cold. It was a list of House Rules. It was like when you turn up for a maths exam and realise you’ve forgotten your calculator. I’ve been mumming all this time without house rules! No wonder it’s all going to pot!
Up till then, I’d been applying rules ad hoc, assuming the kids would pick it up as we went along. But of course it makes sense to let them in on the structure I’m trying to impose on them. Children need guidance and boundaries; if they know what’s expected of them they are more likely to respond well.
So I instituted my own list. Wrote it out all nice and whacked it on the fridge at their eye level.
Then I tried to impose it.
And the kids did what they do best. Expose your weaknesses. Push you to the very limits of your tolerance. Reveal to you where your minimum standards actually lie.
Instead of sitting back comfortably and letting the rules run the house, as I’d (bizarrely, considering I’ve met my children) expected would happen, I realised I’d have to relax my rules a notch.
To really focus on what I will not tolerate, under any circumstance.
Turns out, of all the things I want to instill in my children, the bottom line is, if you’ll excuse the pun: no bare bums on the sofa. No bottoms, with indeterminate standards of wiping, to descend upon my cushions. Ever.
We’re basically a pair of pants away from being savages.
I imagine my house rules will have to evolve as the children grow older. Maybe we’ll have a democratic process every Sunday night to assess and review house protocols and decorum (parents of tweens / teens, please don’t snigger). Maybe money will start to change hands?
But for now, with my 7, 5 and 2-year old boys, here’s our house rules: dream vs reality.
Do you have formal house rules? What’s your non-negotiable?
Love this,your rules sound just like mine!Especially the bare bums!My daughter is forever stripping off little monkey x
Pickinguptoys recently posted…Word of the week – Naughty!
Oh same – they just cannot keep their clothes on! x
So its not my daughter then.. shes got some company too 😉
Yes, I think it’s most children that like to run free!
no we don’t have any formal rules in our house except maybe no shoes on the house! i also like my son to put one thing away before he gets something else out to play with but i’ve never really thought of them as being rules before!
i think there are plenty of rules and structure at school so i try to keep home more chilled (that’s not to say my boy is crazy at home, he’s really sensible!)
we3threeblog recently posted…Ramadan Crafts
I agree about the school / home thing. I want them to look forward to being at home, not see it as another place where they get stifled in structure. But they need some basic ground rules I think.
I’m with you on the bare bum rules! This is why I bought a leather sofa so I can wipe the damn thing with disinfectant!
There has to be the rule ‘no grabbing one’s bits and bobs’ in public. Not only is it unsightly but they may just pull the damn things clean off and ruin our chance of ever becoming grandmothers. And we can’t have that!!
Three spoons of peas would be a miracle in my shack! A miracle I tell you!x
carry on katy recently posted…Why Big Is So Much More Than Beautiful.
Clever, clever girl re the sofa! Those mouthfuls are very hard-fought, believe me! x
House rules, you say? Like someon’s actually in control? Interesting concept. It’s like Lord of the Flies over here. Great post. x
Jude recently posted…A Memo to Imaginary Friends
Ha ha! x
Wry Mummy recently posted…No Bare Bums On The Sofa! The *Real* House Rules
Brilliant! I love the ‘do what you like, just don’t come downstairs or hurt anyone.’ I’d be happy to apply that one with a 9.30 cut-off, but my 13yo is happy to come down at 11.30, when I have definitely seen more than enough of him for the day!
Sarah MumofThree World recently posted…The middle child (taking my eye off the ball)
11.30pm!!! Weep! I do have to go up to settle them down sometimes, but if they just stay up long enough for me to eat my dinner, I’m happy!
Wry Mummy recently posted…No Bare Bums On The Sofa! The *Real* House Rules
Hahaaa that’s so funny. I regularly wonder if other parents are strictly sticking to their guns, I’m so glad that we’re all in the same boat 😀
Notmyyearoff recently posted…5 awesome inventions every parent would love for a child starting school
I would love to be obeyed – instead I adapt the rules so I feel the illusion of being in control 😉
No bare bums or boogers on the sofa. (That’s why we have toilet paper minions.) That’s the only thing I would add to your list. I think by the 5th child you sort of give up on the rules and just go with the flow.
Stopping by from Share with Me.
Mariet – Practicingnormal recently posted…Woman with Wings (Censored Edition)
Fantastic hon, I especially like number 6… I aspire to that one day xx
Mummy Tries recently posted…Get Race for Life Ready with Kiqplan
Considering the fact that my children can’t read yet I don’t think house rules would be particularly useful. Still at least it’s a reminder to you that you have minimum standards! Great post Jess. X #sharewithme
Sam recently posted…The Truth about… #29
This is hilarious, I love it. I am also running without house rules – I live on the edge! #sharewithme
Silly Mummy recently posted…‘Come On, Guys’: The Ten Funniest Things The Toddler Said Last Week
Fabulous honey! Leather couches rock for cleanability! You are a funny lady xx
you baby me mummy recently posted…Our Isle Of Wight Weekend With Park Resorts
Lol – I’ve had a day that was summed up when I found a pasta shell in a croc – can totally relate #sharewithme
Mummy Fever recently posted…Problem solving skills for children
Ha I laugh in the face of house rules. I try and impose one toy out, one toy away but that rarely seems to be the case!! xx
Potty Mouthed Mummy recently posted…Traidcraft Fair Trade Review
Oh so true Jess. We have ‘loose’ rules that get adjusted slightly when I’m just not in the mood to enforce them….like anytime after 7pm! x
Suzanne recently posted…The Benefit of Hindsight
Hehe so funny – it’s always nice to see how reality and dreams differ!
Thanks Jenni! Quite a wide gulf in our case!
OH Jess I love it and quite similar to what my house rules would be and actually are in this house too. It’s amazing how we let our rules just slide that lit bit and what we really mean to ask for is the bare minimum of those actual rules we want to happen and enforce. Love this. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme
Jenny recently posted…Siblings {June}
Thanks Jenny! I’m hoping to raise our standards inch by inch over the years..!
Ha ha ha – hilarious and love that you had no house rules. Me neither. Which is probably why they rule me. Brilliant, as always (and HUGE congrats on your award!!) Yay xxxxxx
mummyofboygirltwins recently posted…BritMums Live: Hugging, inspiration and breaking my shoes
Thanks so much Jess! I was so chuffed – still walking on air! x
You had me at ‘considering I’ve met my children’. Snort material. So glad we’ve finally met one another in the blogosphere!
Ha ha, thanks hon! I can’t believe how misguided I really am, expecting my children to suddenly change!
Personally, I find it quite difficult when it comes to buying the right sofa/couch for any of the rooms in the house. Yours is really insightful article I can use in the future.
That sounds very familiar. The one red line we’ve had so far has been pick the cat up by its tail. Other than that, we’ve beend playing it by ear
Your post made me giggle a bit, I love your humorous style 🙂 In all seriousness though, I couldn’t agree more on the necessity of house rules – as you said, kids need guidance from the very beginning. If they are shown the dos and don’ts at home, they wouldn’t have an excuse when something goes wrong (at least in theory). Moreover, that would create a sense of structure and discipline which will be useful later in general. For example, helping mom at home may result in helping their friends in general. It will really make them feel as valuable members of the family / society.
Haha, the chart for the house rules vs reality is so true…
Made my day 🙂