Toddlers get a bad rap. I’ve always thought this. They’re accused of all sorts of behaviours, and sure enough, I have watched them unfold as our little one turns two and a half. But to be honest, it’s like looking in the mirror. We may hide it better, but aren’t we all toddlers at heart?
Tantrums
Come out of nowhere, completely disproportionate, impossible to dispel with rationality. Why, it sounds just like one of my outbursts, when all the little niggles of the week suddenly compound and the slightest thing becomes the last straw. Like my toddler spilling his drink.
Spilling drinks
I went to the pub the other day on a rare night out with Mr Wry. First drink: right over the bar. I’d had two sips, I wasn’t even drunk. Sometimes when I’m carrying tea, I spill it all the way to the sofa. It’s just the Law of Liquids.
Inconsistency
“But last time you wanted a Flake! What do you mean you have to have a Freddo?” Said my husband to me at the service station, as I sat mouthing crossly in the passenger seat. How’s the poor guy to know that today, I just fancy a Freddo, OK? Yes I know it’s exactly the same chocolate made by exactly the same company (thank you lovely Cadburys!). But I want a different shape.
Inconvenient naps
It’s that in-between stage. They don’t nap in the day any more but they’re really tired. But if they sleep now they’ll ruin their bedtime. Hands up the mums who have grabbed a desperate nap on a Sunday afternoon while the children watch sport with their father – only to lie awake till 3am cursing their lack of foresight.
Incoherence
Toddlers are just learning the rudiments of language. They can make themselves understood – usually, But when they’re excited? Or mad? Or in a hurry? Out comes an incoherent wail that rises in pitch the longer you take to understand. And me? I frequently blank words from my mind. I can’t get the children’s names right. I start saying something and lose my thread almost immediately.
“Not THAT cup!”
My toddler won’t use a cup with a lid – hence point 2 above. He’s very particular about what he will drink from, and it changes day to day. Not like me at all. As long as I have the right pre-11am cup, after-lunch cup, baby bathtime cup and bedtime cup – which are all different – I’m happy. And will I drink prosecco from a wine glass? No, I will not!
“No like it!”
“You haven’t even tried it! Just try one.” So, reluctantly, I will. But you can’t make me like it, OK? A person’s tastebuds are their own domain, whether they’re two or 102.
“Too tight!”
The War of the Waistband. Being fought in households across the land daily. Not just coaxing toddlers into jeans – something I have never achieved – but coaxing mummy tummies into jeggings. We all have days when we just want to wear our track pants.
“Spider ‘cary!”
I don’t particularly like spiders either, my petal. I may not scream quite so much, but show me a rat and I’ll be raising the roof.
Night frights
Will they ever sleep through the night? you wonder. But when I wake up in the night, needing comfort, I can cuddle up to my snoring bear of a husband. Or if he’s away, I can flip the light on and summon all the powers of my learned rationality to quell my fears. We all need a cuddle in the night sometimes.
Do you ever catch yourself acting like a toddler?
Err hello….my goodness, this is me! Loved the whole waist band thing and yes, my husband cannot ever win when it comes to buying me chocolate snacks. I’m even worse, some days I’m cross with him for buying me anything at all because I want to try and lose weight! But that swings from one week to the next. Can.not.win!
suzanne3childrenandit recently posted…The Lesser Spotted Teenager
The chocolate thing is a minefield. He’s the same, though. He says he wants no carbs, then asks why I haven’t put a potato in for him. Doh!
Oh for shame I am like a toddler too and have the most amazing tantrums. Think my husband would like to put me on the naughty step sometimes (In my Mum’s house a hundred miles away probably). And always reserve the right to want a different shape chocolate at times ha. Good luck Friday xxx
Complicated Gorgeousness recently posted…My Dad – growing up with a rebel
Thanks Ali! He wouldn’t put you on the naughty step so far away – that would be too much of a break for you!xxx
How lovely! I’ll have so much more empathy for my son tomorrow. I haven’t got napping down either.
Charlene recently posted…10 Things I Will Miss About Pregnancy: Guest Post From LesBeMums
Oh, bless you Charlene! Believe me, I am not that empathetic sometimes but it’s good to recognise their reactions are not that unlike our own, maybe just more raw.
Weirdly I just read Suzanne’s post about the lesser spotted teenager and recognised myself in there – my husband is frequently saying that I talk like a teenager etc. and I think I actually did once tell him that he was ruining my life. 🙂 Thanks for linking up to #thetruthabout Jess – some interesting observations here…
Sam recently posted…The Truth about… #30
I love that! You’re ruining my life! What did he do, make you tea in the wrong cup? Will have to read Suzanne’s post. x
Fab post and very true, I spilt water all over the kitchen yesterday and had a massive tantrum so definitely some toddler behaviour here! We’ve just learnt to hide the tantrums in public… Xxx
Caroline (Becoming a SAHM) recently posted…WOW Toys Review & Giveaway
Yes, precisely – we’re just suppressed toddlers!
Eek! Yes, it’s scary, isn’t it? I get cross with my kids for not eating their carrots, but I’d probably rather eat my own poo than eat a banana!
Sarah MumofThree World recently posted…The Royal Ballet: The result
Ha ha ha! Now that’s a bet I don’t want to see!
Hahaha spot on. My Mum thinks I’m a pushover parent, but it’s only because I empathise with my kids so much. Woe betide a husband who makes tea for me in the wrong mug or buys chocolate I don’t like. And I never clear my plate and I still always give myself pudding…
Amanda Martin recently posted…Even My Fictional Kids Don’t Behave
Oh, it’s the same for my poor husband. And woe betide him if he makes himself a drink in MY favourite mug!
Tee hee this is too funny! Especially about the cups, I’m very particular about my booze being in the correct glass xx
Mummy Tries recently posted…It’s Official. She’s on the Spectrum. Now What?
It just tastes different, doesn’t it Renee! x
Brilliant, Jess, and I admit to being guilty as charged. In particular, the Law of Liquids seems to apply to me all the time. It seems I cannot go out for a meal without spilling something over someone – I did it again at a work dinner on Monday, and I’d only had half a beer at that point. You really can’t take me anywhere …
Tim recently posted…Wednesday Words of Wisdom: Success through failure
Oh Tim, I’m sure you manage to charm your way out of your klutzery!
Thanks for the mention, lovely!
Brilliant, although you have just reminded me I have bought a froddo yoghurt and let it at someones house – potentially never to be seen again!
Lauranne recently posted…#PimpmyRabbit – Look at me Mum!
Ha ha – wow, a Freddo yoghurt! I haven’t even seen this yet! Hope you reclaim it, Lauranne 😉
I’ve had that thought myself when I catch myself having a tantrum about something dumb. Luckily my kids aren’t yet old enough to pick up on it and say something extremely annoying like “Chill out, Mom!” but I can tell that it’s coming…
Jenny @ Unremarkable Files recently posted…What Do Real Moms Do?
I love this- you are so right! It’s too easy to get annoyed with toddlers for one or all of those things without stopping to realise we are exactly the same. Yes, I like pizza, but I might not want it tonight. No, I don’t want to try that just to see if I like it because frankly it doesn’t look like something I’d like. And yes, I have burst into tears because my husband brought me tea in the wrong mug (pregnancy hormones to blame, to be fair). I will try and remember my quirks and foibles next time I’m irritated with my daughter about hers!
This is such a great post. Often when I complain to my husband about something that my toddler has done that has gotten on my nerves, he just says “Well you know he gets that from you!” Touché 🙂
Kyles recently posted…Impossible Impostors: Why you should stop worrying that you’ll be “found out”
Ouch! Bet you love it when he says that 😉 I’m sure he has his toddler moments too, I know mine does!
Haha so true!! When I’m tired and hungry I can be just as hard work as (or worse than) a toddler.
However, unlike with a toddler, I keep being reminded of some of my outbursts later down the line…
Like the time I couldn’t walk in high heels after a copious amount of mojitos and refused to move another step until my husband hailed a taxi (in a pedestrianised street) Before you mistake me for a rock star, fear not – it was clearly life PB (pre-babies). Or the time we forgot to book a table at a restaurant on holiday and I demanded ‘just give me the snickers NOW’ (I think I may have even stomped my foot in my low blood sugar frenzy).
In both pregnancies I’ve been terrible with food and drink. When I asked hubby to stop off for some juice and he came back with the freshly squeezed healthy stuff, he was rather dumbfounded when I sobbed because I really wanted the sugary dilutable stuff. Needless to say he knows better than to go anywhere near my ‘secret’ stash of Haribo (that my DD isn’t allowed)!
Toddler or wife, when my poor husband is subjected to one of our tantrums, I witness the same expression on his face: wide-eyed shock, open mouthed disbelief followed by a very calm ‘okayyyyyy’ in the ‘put the weapons doooown’ kind of way.