Dear Dummy Fairy

Dear dummy fairy, I’ve seen you peering in the nursery window. I caught you trying to open the emergency dummy drawer (as if you could with your puny fairy arms!). I’m sorry I slammed your wing in the car door when I’d just put my baby in his seat. But you have to understand – I’m not ready to give up the dummy yet. So FLIT OFF!
I know you’re bitter because I’ve never used your services before. When my first child was due for his dummy-ectomy, we went cold turkey – no dummies, no fairy stories, no problem. Don’t get me wrong – I appreciate your work, but your advertising campaign just hadn’t reached me then, as a first-time mum. Then – and I know you still haven’t forgiven me for this – child number 2 didn’t have a dummy! Just not interested. So I see why you’re harassing me with my third baby. I’ve heard you whispering, “My precious” like the Gollum of the Nursery, preparing to dart in when my baby drops a dummy overboard. You’re pretty clever, too, putting words into the mouths of people around me – even my own husband: “Don’t you think it’s time he gave up the dummy now?”
OK, I’ll admit it: I use a dummy because it makes my life easier. Well, quieter at least. I don’t use it all the time, but sometimes it just…helps. This may make me a bad mum. But let me ask you this, oh fancy- and baby-free flitterer:
Have you ever reached the check-out after an emergency supermarket shop to have your baby kick off in the trolley while your older two play dodgems in the fishfinger aisle?
Have you ever driven for six hours to your in-laws with a child that is too young for the IPad?
Have you ever had so little sleep you’ve felt like driving yourself into a wall?
Admittedly, I could manage all that, if I really had to, without the dummy. But the real reason that I want you to flit off is because…I’m not ready to let go of my baby yet. He’s my last one. His mouth will be the last one that I can pop a dummy into and savour the immediate comfort it gives him as I cuddle him before bed. He’s just turned 18 months and I’m finding it hard to come to terms with not ever having a baby in the house any more.
Rationally, I know it’s time to bin the binkies – especially after all those links you sent me (thanks!) about how dummy use can stunt emotional growth, hinder speech development and forever preclude my child from being able to play the bassoon. Believe me, I’ve got a waiting list for things to feel guilty about running into 2015, so there was really no need.
Yes, my head says it’s time to go. But my heart says, please go. Please, Dummy Fairy, go: get your mates Tooth and Sugar Plum, and take that holiday you’ve always dreamed of. Go and visit Tinkerbell in NeverNever Land. You can come back in a few weeks.
But for now, just give me this moment. Let me let go of my baby’s “baby phase” in my own time. To you, a dummy is a prize, a victory, a triumph. To me, it is the symbol of my baby’s fleeting babyhood.


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  • Sob! Never thought of it like that before. Now I know I’m definitely not ready to give up ours. (Yes, I said ours – cos I’m as attached to Baby Girl’s dummy as she is). Bouncing Boy gave his up naturally when he knocked his front tooth out and couldn’t suck. Something tells me I won’t be able to rely on that this time round… Great post.

  • Anonymous says:

    Lose the links, guard the dummy, and treasure the baby-phase. And be very, very gentle with yourself – the ‘no more babies’ truth, however wise and reasonable and all that, is painful and sad even if you do feel you struggle with the children you already have. And Gold Star for Honesty!

  • I hear you! We’ve only just succumbed to the dummy fairy for our older son (who is three) and have no plans to give in with regards our younger one (just turned two) quite yet. One thing that’s always remained in my head on the subject of dummy-related guilt is something a community midwife said to my sister “With my lot, I should’ve put one in every orifice,” she said. There you go – an NHS professional says it’s okay!

  • I can imagine its very bitter sweet Jess. Neither of mine had dummies but the baby is a big thumb sucker – harder to take away but very cute 🙂
    There might be room for one more here but i doubt it x

  • Alison Perry says:

    18 months? Pah, you’ve got ages before you have to allow the dummy fairy to visit! 😉 Thanks for linking up to the Bad Mums’ Club.

  • Emma Martin says:

    Oh our first had the dummy until she was nearly four! Keep it as long as possible I say – small mercies!!xx

  • Oh man, I can so relate to this one! I was a little bit emosh when E gave her up… though that could be more to do with the sleepless nights that followed.. *cough* In all seriousness though, you’re right it’s another sign that they are no longer little babies 🙁 x

  • Tanya Leary says:

    Awww- that is lovely. Our little little is 14 months now and I am gutted that she is getting so grown up. Obviously the next bit is lovely too but it’s not the same is it?! xxx

  • Sob I am with you for them to stay babies and not grow up as they are our last babies in the house. It’s so hard to let them grow up and onto the next stage. I am the same. With Buba I encouraged him to move on grow up and with Missy Moo she is my last and that makes me so very sad and I can’t let her move to the next phase. Because that is the end of an era of babies for me. I saw don’t listen to anyone else and just keep doing the amazing job you are doing. It’s what we think that matters not anything else. My list of bad mum things goes until about 2020 already so I am with you! #badmumsclub

  • Thanks Jenny, glad I’m not alone in wanting to press pause. x

  • DannyUK says:

    Ahhh, I remember these days! Everyone has an opinion about what is best. In my experience, kids will give up their dummies when they are ready to. With a tiny push from their parents, of course!

  • pixiedusk says:

    Ive never use a dummy but it doesnt mean that I am not dependent on something to pacify the LO when i need to. Like a small piece of chocolate or 2. Another honest post in this linky. And Im starting to love this! #badmumsclub

  • Older Mum says:

    I bloody love this post…. very, very witty and clever. Never used a dummy with Little A but in hindsight I really wished I had, like in the car, like at nap times – life could have been a lot easier but I was insistent she shouldn’t have one, and ended up making life more difficult for my self – my booby became her pacifier! X

  • I am totally not ready for giving up the dummy. She loves it and it gives her some comfort in this crazy world. I am not sure when the time will come but for now, they’re a godsend!

  • Keep it, the dummy fairy visited us when my eldest was 2 and a half, six weeks of sleepless nights followed, initially due to the dummy not being there which lasted a week then she started having bad dreams and no dummy to settle her so ended up rubbing her back which we’d never done, eventually she started sleeping again. I don’t think she was ready for us to take it away. number 2 sucks her thumb- a lot, not sure what to do with this one!!

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