I’m absolutely delighted to be on BritMums’ Brilliance in Blogging shortlist for the Laugh category, up against some of my favourite blogs. Awkward. I started my blog to raise a smile on a knackered mum’s face, so I’m very chuffed that I’ve managed to make some lips twitch. Thanks so much to everyone who voted for me. And, er, would you mind awfully doing it again here to get me onto the finalist list?
If you want to try before you buy, here is my blog in 10 posts:
1. The Shouting Bra. “You can’t command respect naked. Not even from your kids. Hence, I propose a Mumswear diffusion line, starting with The Shouting Bra and the Pants of Power.”
2. How To Get A Bit Of Lego Out Of Your Kid’s Nose. “It had to happen. Six years, three kids, a gazillion Lego pieces. Sooner or later, one of those bits was going to go up someone’s nose.”
3. How To Guest-Proof Your House In Five Minutes. “There’s nothing more unwelcome than an early guest.” My top tip: hide the nit shampoo.
4. What To Wear To BritMums Live? The one where I’m caught between a tart and a frump.
5. What To Drink At BritMums Live? The one where I break the mummy contract: I just can’t drink gin. But I’ll clink a glass of prosecco with you any day!
6. The Meerkat Mum. “I was never a competitive mother – until I won.” I’m a Meerkat Mum – like a Tiger Mother, but more cuddly.
7. Cleaning Up Chunks – A Mother’s Glory. My first post, in September 2013, and, for me, it sums up my blog and, indeed, motherhood: even cleaning up sick has a funny side.
“As I root out the chunks, I think grim thoughts about my husband, by now probably gently snoozing with our child nestled adorably in his arms. My only consolation is that with each breath he is inhaling the sick bug while germs seep into his pores from our poor infant’s soft skin.”
8. The Present Face – Time To Get Practicing. “When my son opened his birthday present, his face looked like we’d just shot our dog. We don’t even have a dog.”
9. Kids’ Bedtime – The Last Straw. “The 7pm-8pm Vortex. You can be primed, kids in PJs, teeth done, their eyes (despite themselves) drooping, sitting on the bed about to read a story at 7pm. You feel pretty smug. Three stories, kiss on the forehead, downstairs by 7.15pm – done! But then, the Vortex opens. It has no mercy. It can sense a parent desperate for a break and it will gape its all-encompassing jaws and swallow time. That hour will be gone. It is beyond your control. How does this happen?”
10. Oh October – Season of Shinrot! The Return of the Ugg. “One day in 200 years’ time, some meteorologist will dig my Uggs up from my grave, release them from my clenched bony fingers and be able to map the weather of this ancient age from the watermarks and snow-lines on them, like the dating rings inside a tree trunk. It’ll be like the Rosetta Stone, in sheepskin.”
Whether you vote for me or no, I hope you enjoyed this post. And may I take this moment of unusual un-Wryness to say a huge thanks to everyone that has read and supported my blog. Your kind words are far more important to me than an award.
Still going to pop the link here one more time though.
Linking up with #PoCoLo here – join in!