Are children children or do boys and girls have discerning characteristics? Take this simple quiz to find out whether your child is a boy or a girl.
- Can your child pass a wall without walking on it?
- Does your child like drawing, painting, colouring and looking at books?
- If your child sees a stick, does he pick it up? Every time?
- Does your child frequently ask you to “smell the air”, while cackling madly?
- Does your child eat his/her own snot / sleep / ear wax?
- Do you know whose lightsaber this is?
- Can you child pass a high wall without wanting to jump off it?
- Do you regularly find Lego in your bed / shoes / washing machine?
- Do you have an opinion on who would win out of a baby megalodon and a saltwater crocodile?
- Can you child walk round a puddle, rather than through it?
- Does your child enjoy making bug – dead or alive – collections of a summer?
- Does your child tell you s/he loves you several times a week?
- Does s/he also announce, often in public, that “You are a poo!”?
- When your child draws or makes something, is it usually something to do with towers, planes or fighting?
- Which Gup is this?
- Does your child like playing with cuddly toys?
- Does your child find coats an affront and throw them at you at the earliest opportunity?
- Can your child ever talk at an ambient volume?
- Are “bum, poo and wee” the funniest words your child has ever heard?
- Does your child ask for food every half hour?
- Are clothes an encumbrance to your child, to be shed as soon as possible?
- Are sharks your child’s favourite animal?
- If you child dresses up, is it usually as a baddy, e.g. a Dark Side member?
- Is Steve Backshall pretty much God in your child’s eyes?
- Does your child often wee outside, and seem to prefer it?
- Does your child like to sit on your lap?
- Does your child have more energy than the sun?
- Can your child ignore a ball?
- Does everything become a weapon in your child’s hand, even before they’ve ever had so much as a water pistol?
- Could you child outrun a pack of wolves?
- Does your child love a big mummy cuddle?
If you answered yes to 5 or more of these questions, your child is a boy. Or a girl.
I have to apologise but I’ve tricked you (sorry!) into contributing to a crowd-sourced quiz: you provide the conclusion! Note: This is not going to be published in a scientific journal. Or, um, anywhere (except maybe in a follow-up post depending on the response). I’m just interested. I’m not generalising in the questions above, these are observations based on my small sample of three boys, with a bit of corroboration from their friends who come to play. But of course I don’t see what their friends are like at home so I wouldn’t presume to categorise them by their behaviour in the presence of my sweet, caring Spinjitsu masters.
I’m not coming down either way on the “nature or nurture” gender debate, I’m just interested to hear in the comments whether all, most or any of these features are universal and what you’d add.