Will 2014 be the year that I achieve the only thing that I really want: to be the best mum I can be? And will my kids notice the difference?
No More Mrs Mumbot
I’ve stopped thinking about being a mum. Somewhere between picking Weetabix splats off the floor with my bare hands, making the last baby wipe last through a messy change and finding the right Octonauts episode with the wrong remote, just being a mum took over. A mother on auto-pilot – or a mumbot, if you will. But in this ultimate “time for reflection”, I am resolving that I need, and want, to do more than just get through the day. I want to be a better mum.
The Resolution That Keeps On Giving
This is not a new resolve. I make it every night after another three-hour bedtime marathon. I think it every morning when I wake up. And I think it many times a day in between. I hope I’m not the only one – I’m not, right?
Do What I Do, Only Nicer
It’s not so much my performance that’s the problem, it’s my presentation. It’s not my ability, it’s my attitude. I’ve got the practical stuff down – feeding, clothing, bathing, exercising. I read to them, I praise them, I use descriptive praise, I cuddle them – boy, do I cuddle them. I get them where they need or want to be within 60 seconds of the required time. I’d just like to do all that without the shouty bits. Cook lunch when I’ve only just finished clearing up snacktime? Sure! Get the playdoh out just after I’ve swept the floor? You betcha, honey! Spilt milk on the new sofa again – well, silly mummy for giving it to you sitting there. The number of times I’ve cried over spilt milk – why, it makes a mockery of the phrase! I know it’s no use, but I just can’t help it sometimes.
How To Become Mummy 2.0
Be nicer. Be more prepared. Be cheerier. Not too much to ask, then. These lofty goals need breaking down – I need strategies! But parenting manuals are like when I read about a new diet regime: I think “Mmm, that’s a good idea, I’ll remember that”, then within seconds – gone. Also, the only period that I’ve had time to read such tomes is when I was pregnant with my first, when all I could think about was, ‘How am I going to get this baby’s head out of there?’, and everything else could wait. So hurrah for the blogosphere: short, snappy parent-y stuff – with pictures! Get your sentient parenting tips a-ready, parent bloggers, for I shall be trawling your sites for inspiration – or even better, point me to your wise words in a comment below.
Will The Kids Even Notice?
This is a resolution with no tangible means of measurement. Although my husband might be keen on a new model, I’m not sure the kids really care. Will they notice that we’re leaving the house in plenty of time, with all our stuff loaded up in one calm go, without mummy sweating and suppressing naughty words in the driver’s seat? Will they notice that their tea was part of a week’s menu plan? Will they notice that their pants came from their own drawer and are the correct size? Probably not. But I will. Yes, I know that I am the best mummy that my kids can have, but I am not going to rest on those comfortable laurels. This year I am going to try my hardest. I am going to be the best mum I can be. And it doesn’t matter if my kids notice or not, as long as they are happy. I might even get them doing craft.
Related posts
Kids’ Bedtime – The Last Straw – where I puzzle the 7pm-8pm vortex that opens when it senses a mummy on the edge, trying to put kids to bed.
How Not To Bake – where my better mum-ness rises far above my ability, on the occasion of making a child’s birthday cake.
Related posts
Kids’ Bedtime – The Last Straw – where I puzzle the 7pm-8pm vortex that opens when it senses a mummy on the edge, trying to put kids to bed.
How Not To Bake – where my better mum-ness rises far above my ability, on the occasion of making a child’s birthday cake.
I’ve been thinking about my resolutions. Be a better mum is on there. But it’s a tough job. Maybe we are too harsh on ourselves, but then again we know what is best for our kids, maybe being better mums is better for them too? Maybe that is why we want to do it x
37 years in, and I’m still making the same resolution. Don’t be fooled into thinking this one will ever go away. Children are for life, not just the Nativity Play! And they have a staggering capacity for loving you and showing it whether you think you deserve it, or not. Just keep the chocolate on tap. And the wine.
Ha ha, children are for life, not just the Nativity Play. What a lovely thing to say about their staggering capacity to love. Thank you.
Hi Kerrie, thanks for your comment – I agree, it’s conflicting: sometimes I feel like I’m doing a fine job, then I think I should be doing better and should take off the cruise control. Happy new year!x
Hi Anonymous! Thanks for commenting and giving me a lifetime of self-doubt to look forward to :)! I didn’t think it would be any other way. Luckily, I have the wonderful example of my amazing mother to guide, inspire and uplift me. xxx
We all aspire to be better, to do more with our kids but I think ultimately as mothers we are prone to over analyze ourselves, when all we can do is to love and try our best! Happy New Year to you all!
Hi Ellen, thanks for your comment, you’re right that we tend to over analyze. A very Happy New Year to you and your family!
We all have our moments – it isn’t just you. None of us are perfect but what makes you already the best mum that you can be is wanting o do even better.
Thank you, Prudence, that is a lovely thing to say.
What a lovely post. I want to the best mum possible too.
Thank you! I think it’s a mother’s lot to feel like you’re underachieving most of the time.
Great post that I can completely relate to. My oldest has just turned 16 and it doesn’t get any easier but it is well worth the efforts.
Thanks for your lovely comment, Denise. It’s nice to know I’m not alone and to get encouragement from mums further on their journey (my oldest is 6).
I failed on New Years Day when I muttered an expletive in the presence of my 3yr old in what I thought was a whisper. Got a bollocking from my husband who’d heard it from the bedroom. Must try harder.
2 January 2015 at 16:23