Most of the time, I’m a Mumbot – a mummy on autopilot. The business of parenting kids is so, well, busy, that I just get up and on with it. But in moments of pause, like this half-term, I suddenly look around. I look down. And I have a wibble. I realised that I’m stepping a fine line. I’m walking on a Mummy Tightrope.
The Mother of all Wibbles
Do you ever find yourself driving at 70mph (officer) on the motorway and suddenly becoming aware of what you are actually doing? You are propelling a tonne of metal along a busy road at great speed, with your kids in the back, and all that is separating you and the central reservation is your hands on the steering wheel and your sheer nerve.
I occasionally have much the same sensation when considering my position as chief pilot of our family. This half-term, we’ve been loving the absence of schedule, the prevalence of pyjamas, the comfort of each other’s company. While I was lolling on the sofa this morning at 8am – panic stations hour on a schoolday – I suddenly thought, how am I going to switch back into getting all these bodies to their required institutions this time next week?
But why just have a weak wibble? I then went on to wonder how on earth I am going to steer my three children’s educational progress till they graduate from Oxbridge (!), when I can barely get through one child’s Year 1 homework? How am I going to raise them into fine, upstanding members of the community (and Winter Olympians no less!), when I’m so exhausted that the only thing my moral compass is pointing to is a large double bed? In fine, how am I going to keep at it for the next 18 to infinity years?
While I was there, I had a good old wibble about my performance to date as well. What were we doing watching Charlie and Lola when there were two reading books with seal unbroken in the book bag and we are halfway through half-term? One son refused to finish his breakfast before wriggling down from the table – why had better table manners not been instilled? And there was my baby, tinting his eyelashes with Weetabix: what hope did he have when he was on the same slippery slope as his brothers with me as a mother?
Don’t Look Down
So there I was, wibbling about the past on one side and the future on the other. I was on a Mummy Tightrope. The proverbial advice given to a tightrope walker is, “Don’t look down.” But as I sat there on the sofa, lip wobbling, with a boy either side of me engrossed in (by now) Mike the Knight, and a baby happily emptying out a bag of nappy sacks by my feet, I had an epiphany. They weren’t dwelling in the past or dreading the future: they were enjoying the present. And I realised that when I am next wobbling on the Mummy Tightrope, I should just remember this: “Do look down”.
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Ha love this. Don’t look down indeed. But it all sounds so peaceful and chilled and exactly what everyone needs after January term-time. Enjoy xxx
Ah, thank you! Don’t worry, it all kicked off when I dared to switch the Beebies off! xxx
Just lovely! Enjoy your downwards looking!
Thanks so much!
Super stuff Jess and great advice – plus i have the whole car thing all the time, especially since i have only recently passed! x
Thanks Katie! Oh no, though, I feel really bad about giving you the fear about driving, I did worry about that bit! Congrats on your licence, lady! You’ll be just fine. x
Time, space and peace to think is a one way street to wobble-ville for mums. Turn up Cbeebees, quick! Another great MADs winning worthy post. xxxx
Aw, thanks hon! Xx
Brilliant. I wrote about living in the present recently. We should all look down more! X
Definitely! I enjoyed your post too. x
Brilliant. I wrote about living in the present recently. We should all look down more! X
Lovely post! You are so right. Most of us (if not all), get by this whole parenting business on auto-mode. And like you mentioned, sometimes it is also rewarding to look down and be reminded that actually, all is really well 🙂 #PoCoLo.
Thank you! It’s easy to get carried away worrying but good to learn from our kids’ way of living in the present.
Great post and I know exactly what you mean in about driving, you suddenly realise just the slightest turn of your hand, yikes! great parallels with mummyhood and I think it’s best to not dwell on these things too long, just enjoy the present and worry about the future when we get there! 🙂 xx #pocolo
I love this…. I enjoyed your train of thought as it started to snow ball… one worry multiplying into a thousand, because I do that all the time, and I really related to it. Lovely that your children brought you back down to earth. X
What a great post – and fantastically put. I need to bear this in mind 🙂 Thank you for linking to PoCoLo x
Aw, thanks!
Lovely post. I always enjoy reading! Thanks
Thank you!
A funny and very poignant read Jess. So true – why are we always looking ahead or behind but never right where we are? Planning to share this post on my #fridayfavourites tomorrow, hope that ok? x
I think you’ve summed up the essence of Mindfulness in one brilliant post !
Aw, thanks so much! x
Yes I often wonder how that crazy party girl who no-one expected to get a job or a husband is now a single mum of a 21 year old and 2 special needs kids! Something went wrong in the plan!
These exact wobbles that you have written about, I have all the time. I often question my role of mummy and if I am doing a good enough job. I actually saw an advert pop up about swimming the other day and thought about pe much of a rubbish mum I am that my 7 year old daughter doesn’t have swimming lessons.
We should sit back look at the present and be proud of how far we have come on the tightrope already!!