8 Boo-Boos I Have Made In Public While Out Without The Kids

Every now and then I get out baby-free. But old habits die hard. Without even realising until it’s too late, I have made all manner of boo-boos in public. It makes me wonder: should I really be allowed out alone?
1. Using the baby change loo. Don’t give me that look, lady with double buggy waiting outside, I have a baby too! Oh, wait…not with me, though. Soz.
2. Using automatic doors, even when the push ones are closer. See these hands? They aren’t for hefting heavy doors you know! I only enter if the glass wall electronically glides apart for my pleasure.
3. Expecting pedestrians to part in manner of The Red Sea. I have a buggy! I am keeping civilization going with my breeding! Out of my way! The baby is crying! Maybe. He’s at his grandfolks’ right now so I couldn’t honestly swear to it.
4. Expecting sole use of the lift. Look at the sign! This is for use by wheelchair users and parents with pushchairs only!
5. Smiling at everyone in the Post Office. I’m sorry, they’re just kids. They’ll put all the Jiffy bags back, promise. No, I’m not on something!
6. Trying to catch people’s eye to make them compliment my children. No, no, random man in the street, I’m not trying to pull you. Honest!
7. Asking for an extra biscuit “for the baby” in the local café.

8. Leaving a trail of stuff that would normally be slung on the buggy. I have a lovely Aladdin water bottle. It has been left in the changing room so many times it’s ridiculous. I buy things like two bags of dishwasher salt (yeah! I go wiiild when I’m not with the babies!), then remember I walked into town. I am actually afraid. What am I going to do when the buggy years are behind me?
All these and more I have done. But there is one thing I will never EVER do, and that is park in a mother and baby spot when I am on my own. Is that not the most heinous crime known to woman?
Is it just me? Do you find it hard to operate child-free?

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