Every now and then I get out baby-free. But old habits die hard. Without even realising until it’s too late, I have made all manner of boo-boos in public. It makes me wonder: should I really be allowed out alone?
1. Using the baby change loo. Don’t give me that look, lady with double buggy waiting outside, I have a baby too! Oh, wait…not with me, though. Soz.
2. Using automatic doors, even when the push ones are closer. See these hands? They aren’t for hefting heavy doors you know! I only enter if the glass wall electronically glides apart for my pleasure.
3. Expecting pedestrians to part in manner of The Red Sea. I have a buggy! I am keeping civilization going with my breeding! Out of my way! The baby is crying! Maybe. He’s at his grandfolks’ right now so I couldn’t honestly swear to it.
4. Expecting sole use of the lift. Look at the sign! This is for use by wheelchair users and parents with pushchairs only!
5. Smiling at everyone in the Post Office. I’m sorry, they’re just kids. They’ll put all the Jiffy bags back, promise. No, I’m not on something!
6. Trying to catch people’s eye to make them compliment my children. No, no, random man in the street, I’m not trying to pull you. Honest!
7. Asking for an extra biscuit “for the baby” in the local café.
8. Leaving a trail of stuff that would normally be slung on the buggy. I have a lovely Aladdin water bottle. It has been left in the changing room so many times it’s ridiculous. I buy things like two bags of dishwasher salt (yeah! I go wiiild when I’m not with the babies!), then remember I walked into town. I am actually afraid. What am I going to do when the buggy years are behind me?
All these and more I have done. But there is one thing I will never EVER do, and that is park in a mother and baby spot when I am on my own. Is that not the most heinous crime known to woman?
Is it just me? Do you find it hard to operate child-free?
If you liked that, try this:
Haha, so true! Whenever I leave the house sans kid, it seems so weird to walk without pushing 20 kilos, I always need a couple of minutes to adjust my walking.
I guess it could be called the buggyless syndrome. 🙂
Oh yes, I can relate to every single one of those points! Isn’t it just odd when you leave the house with no kids, no pram… I always feel almost ‘naked’. My friend whose mum had 5 kids told me once that after all the kids had outgrown the buggy she was still walking around with a stroller (yes, even when she was on her own) to put her shopping in! Motherhood makes you weird, haha!
This year will be our first buggy free holiday Jess – i’m already stressing about where we are going to hang everything when we go out! (It’ll totally be on me, won’t it?!!) I loved this poppet, and totally agree about parent&baby spaces – i have got in actual arguments in the past with illegal parkers 😉 xx
Parent only Parking … But I AM a parent! For life! So my youngest are 26 – surely that just gives me even greater rights? Who’s counting?
Oops, should have added that the 26-year olds are twins, the last 2 of 6 children, hence the greater rights. Baby-brain for life, too.
Yes yes yes yes yes YES! Makes my blood boil – cite ranty tweet from the other day…
My equivalent is waiting religiously for the green man even when I’ve been stood there for a good five minutes and it’s blatantly obvious that there is no traffic. Fine with child but without child you just look like a bit of a daydreamer.
Yes, yes! I do that too! And in our town, there’s a set of lights that is SO slow, yet I always wait for it. Glad it’s not just me!
Wish I could remember which dad blogger it was that mentioned the mother and baby parking thing. It’s just one of the rudest most inconsiderate things someone can do! Finally FINALLY checking out your blog. So glad I made it lol.
So it turns out that word doc I keep of my blog comments (yep…anal…) is actually worth it. Found the post I meant!! http://thedadventurer.com/birth/5-people-hate-now-im-dad/
Could we all please take a moment to admire how organised this blogger is…who knew? (Oh just me then.)
Absolutely Prabulous recently posted…14 Types of Parent You’ll Probably Meet At Your Child’s School
That is amazingly organised! Respect to you Prabs!
Me too Prabs! I know the one you mean – it’s a goodie.
When my daughter was baby, I was caught more than once rocking a supermarket shopping trolley like a buggy….with no baby in it.
That’s brilliant – I’m sure the loo roll and baked beans appreciated it!