Seven Signs You Are Becoming Worryingly Domesticated

I used to think ‘domestic’ was a word that only applied to cats. Now I love the smell of bleach in the morning. What is happening to me? I fear I am becoming worryingly domesticated.

The Worryingly Domesticated (WD) is a breed that used to dry clothes over the door, and now counts the tumble dryer as his or her most prized possession. Not to be confused with the so-called OCD Housewife, whose house makes you want to weep and never visit again, the WD is someone who is becoming house proud in barely perceptible stages.

There comes a time in life when you see your house as less of a place to change between work and the pub, and more of a Home. Whether because you have just got your foot on the housing ladder, have bought your forever home, have had kids or just got a wee bit older, you tend to spend more time at home. And as a side effect of this, you become more house proud. You just can’t help it. It is a slow creep for people like me, but I have finally got to the stage where I would describe myself as becoming domesticated to a level that worries my former self, drinking lager in the back of my mind. Do you recognise yourself in any of the following?

1. You browse the cleaning aisle like you used to browse beauty counters. With that willingness to believe, that hope springing eternal, that thrill of the chase. But it’s not your face that you want to look brighter, fresher, younger, more radiant. It’s your toilet.

2. You love getting your house ready for guests. Even better if they don’t arrive and mess it all up.

3. You love emptying the tumble dryer filter. Rolling that lovely lint between your fingers – mmm! You used to think it was another ridiculous manacle of the home, now you can’t wait for it to fill up again.

4. Your favourite purchase, nay victory, of the last year, was a genuine one-handed kitchen roll dispenser. (Yes, you have to observe the correct angulature of tuggage, but it’s a true one-hander. Life-changing.)

5. If your vacuum cleaner packs up, you treat it with more urgency than you do your cracked IPhone.

6. You like to pre-wash a pan before popping it in the dishwasher. Although I wouldn’t dream of subjecting my favourite Le Creuset frying pan (a solicited recent Christmas present – itself a troubling admission) to its harsh jets.

7. You buy loo roll. Every time you go out. You get the fear if stores run below one roll per household member.

My standards haven’t dropped completely. My life is still too short to iron sheets, although I have to admit I now wholeheartedly see the logic in ironing a table cloth before I put it away. If I’m like this now, what will I be like in 20 years? I already know the answer. My mother-in-law.

This post is also featured on The Huffington Post.


  • I am a pre-wash addict these days. Why clean plates once when you can do it twice? Great post. Have shared x

  • I can relate to this, for years it didn’t know how our dyson worked and how the bits came out (you press the yellow bits) but now I’m a dab-hand. This is shocking for the girl who had to phone MOH at work on more than one occasion to ask how to get the hose off the vacuum!!

  • Ha ha yes this is me and I bloody gate myself for it! Although my washer dryer doesn’t work at the minute and I’m wondering if I need to find the lint collector?!? I do wash my la cruset in the dishwasher though – they could withstand a nuclear explosion those guys! Xx

  • After 50 odd years, it’s now happening to me too…. even my daughter has noticed that my favourite new toy is my little steam cleaner…

  • LOL. I haven’t even got table cloths, so you beat me! Although I actually stared at my new Dyson animal hoover for about 2 days because it’s just phenomenal. It really picks up stuff and is so light and manageable. I am defo WD – and actually quite happy with this status. Rather that, than dirty cow down the street who smells xx

  • Anonymous says:

    Oh God, yes to the loo roll, I buy it like we have all had dysentery for years!

  • Mardy Kerrie says:

    Ha ha great. You defo have it worse than me (sorry.) I think I have just resigned myself to not having the time. HOWEVER… we plan on moving in about three years’ time. The babies will have grown out of rubbing rice krispies into the rug and my house will be spotless and I will be a domesticated mentalist just like you ha ha 🙂 xxx Lovely post Jess 🙂

  • OMG we are one and the same. I love tidying up for guests and I adore it when they don’t come. It is bliss on toast. I see your toilet roll and raise you gravy. Have about a zillions packets but must get some more today in case we run out haha xx

  • I WISH I was becoming more domesticated!! My husband would be so happy. He’s Italian and would love to spend the whole weekend indoors cleaning. But this post HAS inspired me to go and tidy (a bit!)

    I hope you can visit my blog on Tuesday. I’m hosting a brand new linkup for regular mums as part of my Real Mom Street Style series, to inspire moms to doll themselves up and take the forbidden selfie!! Would love to have you join me!

    Angie from reasons to dress

  • Oh bab. I was so excited when I watched a vlog the other day and they were in a bloody Waitrose cleaning aisle??? My head nearly exploded! I wanted to go there straight away. Sigh. I am quite happy with this (or totes in denial) xxxxx

  • I have the one handed kitchen roll dispenser! And the fluff filter thing – that’s me through and through, I LOVE my tumble dryer! In fact, I can’t stay longer, I must go and do some cleaning!

  • Ha! Loo roll! I present it in an old family heirloom china washing bowl and panic when we’re down to 4 rolls.

  • Wally Mummy says:

    I am beginning to worry about you…. *heads off to check tumble dryer filter* lol xx

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