Ah, DIY. The refuge of husbands everywhere. Last day of the premiership? You’ll find me in the shed. Need help with the children’s bath? I’ll be there when I’ve drilled this. Did your weekend, like mine, include a DIY row?
DIY is fab. A cheap way to get stuff done.
Cheap – in money terms. But what about in Dad Hours?
The weekend is a time when I like to chuck the kids at their father and do other things. I mean, spend time with my family skipping through meadows.
But this time of year heralds the pressing issue of The Garden. All house-related tasks immediately pale into insignificance before the urgent need to Sort the Garden Out.
So we bought a climbing frame. Or rather, we bought a load of planks that by some miracle will become a fort with a slide. No, no, that’s not the DIY task we fought over – neither of us are equal to that level of carpentry and logic. We’re leaving that to the professionals.
It was varnishing the planks. I shot the first sally, by buying, without consultation, some varnish. On the advice of the man in the queue at B&Q. She who buys the kit gets to Do It.
“It’s BRIGHT RED!” my husband exclaimed in horror.
“It’ll weather down,” I said, with more confidence, admittedly, than I felt.
We both silently began to paint. Quickly, like moths to a flame, or raptors to a carcass, the children arrived and began dipping their brushes in.
“This is madness,” my husband said.
And waited.
Clearly, I was meant to take them away.
“But I want to do the varnish!” I replied.
Silent painting.
“They’re dripping it everywhere!” he cried.
Huffily, I set the children up with their own painting station. For a couple of minutes, I was overcome with the sensation of being a brilliant mother. See, I’m as craft-y as the rest of em! I thought, with some surprise and a little smugness.
Then, this happened:
The metaphorical bloodbath of this weekend’s DIY.
“I’m taking them for a bath,” I announced angrily. “Boys, don’t touch ANYTHING!”
By the time I returned from scrubbing the boys, I was about to sue the makers of so-called “washable” paint. And my husband was set up nicely. Sunglasses on, Radio 5 Live, cheeky chair to sit on while he worked through the giant pile of planks.
“I wanted to do that!” I repeated, crossly.
“So what you’re saying is, you’d literally rather watch paint dry than spend time with the kids?” my husband said mildly.
“Yes! I mean – no. But so would you, it seems!”
“Shh.”
“What? “
“I want to hear who scored for Spurs.”
Is it true? Would I rather spend hours and hours on a mind-numbingly boring DIY task? Listening to the radio? Perhaps popping a DVD on the laptop? Being brought tea and treats at regular intervals? Winning the adulation of my awestruck children? Yet being unable to do anything kid-related “because my hands are covered”?
Now, let me see…
But, to be fair, as I write, it’s 11pm at night, and he’s still out there with just the moths for company. I’ve got to admit, I’m proud of his perseverance.
I will inspect his work tomorrow and won’t be afraid to comment on it either. After all, having willingly bagged the biggest skive of the weekend when I was desperate to do it, he won’t be able to retort,
“If you want something done properly, DO IT YOURSELF!”
Oh bless your hubby, out there until all hours getting the job done 🙂 this post reminds me of when my very mischievous then 5yo brother helped himself to the discarded dregs of a pot of paint, and helpfully painted ours and our neighbours front doors. Loops. Hope the boys scrubbed up ok. Here’s to a less eventful week lovely xx
Mummy Tries recently posted…Why I Put My Life Online
I can so relate to this! Apart from the obvious fact that useful things are being done, it’s pretty much a lose-lose from a mum’s point of view – you get no help with the kids and the husband can quite legitimately listen to Five Live all day, enjoying a beer or a cup of tea, because he’s doing something useful. I’ve volunteered to help/ take over in the past too, but my services haven’t been required.
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Now you see there’s a lot to be said here. You have clearly married one of the few men who is capable of DIY. In my experience, the majority of men are appaling at it or don’t posess the necessary skills and do everything they can to get out of it. Not so me, I knew the diffference between a flat head, pozi and cross head screwdriver from a very young age. In fact I judge people by the number of power tools they own. You should be able to take your age and half it. If you don’t own that many power tools then please leave by the back door.
Even so, the above blog post does not apply to me. I am a stay at home dad. The burden of childcare, DIY and gardening falls squarely on my shoulders. I look round the house and am desperate for more time to do DIY and maintenance but it just can’t be done.
John Adams recently posted…Living life on the Daddy Track
One of the brilliant things of living alone, all the DIY is my responsibility – scary at first but now I love it!
Lauranne recently posted…He isn’t my Ex!
That sounds like chaos. No wonder your husband was still out there at nearly midnight (probably part to finish the job and part to have some time to himself!). My DIY skills consist of pretty much giving something a go (as long as it isn’t dangerous), then called the pros in to correct my mistakes.
The DADventurer (Dave) recently posted…Stopping The Baby From Crawling
Haha! This made me laugh!! I absolutely LOVE DIY and very often I’ll make a start — palm the boys off on their poor daddy — and crack on with painting/sanding/whatever it is that I’ve decided to do!! That said, he’s always happy as it gives him an excuse to legitimately watch the rugby/cricket/sport in general without being told off by me!! Win – win 🙂 #ShareWithMe
Caro | http://www.thetwinklediaries.co.uk
Caro | The Twinkles Mama recently posted…Home Etc #1 â Home and Garden Inspired Blog Hop
That’s how I pictured last weekend! I wouldn’t have cared what he did with the boys – sitting in front of the sport would have been fine. I just wanted some time alone with my paintbrush!
Haha this is such a nice post. I can see you in my head =P #sharewithme
Merlinda Little (@pixiedusk) recently posted…Wicked Wednesday – 20 May 2015
Rest in the knowledge that he was probably covered in gnat bites too ;). To be fair, I would have taken his option, merely on the basis that it is something different from the norm! x
Suzanne recently posted…My Two Penneth
I have to confess, on weekends my partner and I argue over who gets to do the cooking because whoever doesn’t has the job of occupying the kids. As much as I love occupying the kids all day everyday, it’s good to have a break and peel the potatoes with a glass of wine in peace at least one day a week!! However my partner would also like to peel the potatoes with the footie on! we usually end up doing Rock Paper Scissors. Great post I share your pain and because of this I laughed with you 🙂 #Sharewithme
Ha ha ha bless you! At least you got stuck in and helped. I have to admit that I leave all the DIY to my husband and I do not get involved!! It would (I know) end in a big row if I did.
On the plus side the kids look like they’re having a great time!
Heledd – Running in Lavender recently posted…A Day Out With Poppy Cat at Nickelodeon Land
Ha ha what a right mess the children made! Love it. Oh yes, DIY makes Hubby and I into evil people that cannot communicate properly! We row over it every time. Hubby gets impatient to start and won’t read instructions, and I want to lay everything out and think about it before we begin! Mayhem! Our DIY projects are very few and far between these days though since having the twins but we still try! Love this, and thanks for sharing. Jess x #HomeEtc
Have already left a little comment but just wanted to say thanks so much for linking up with #HomeEtc x
Caro | http://www.thetwinklediaries.co.uk
Caro | The Twinkles Mama recently posted…114 weeks and 2 days | Getting to know me | A vlog
I have been there, and yes to be honest by the weekend I want to pass L on to my hubby and get other things done, even if it means painting or something like that. Accept my hubby is the worlds biggest perfectionist, he is the one that says he can always do something better, he builds things, creates things out of nothing and has spent hours in his man cave having “man” time and leaving me to carry on with things. I guess I will never win the DIY row haha #sharewithme
I just leave the house if my husband starts on the DIY (of which there is enough to last a lifetime here!) x he just pisses me off and i quite often want to stab him a bit x
WallyMummy recently posted…The threenager’s guide to conducting yourself at birthday parties.
The only row Stephen and I have had where we nearly walked away was over hanging a lampshade in my old house. I mean it was seriously not happy times!!! x
brummymummyof2 recently posted…More Mutton. Less Mum.
OMG. Look at the state of their arms!
And congratulations on being a BiBs finalist! X
older mum in a muddle recently posted…The Pill Cutter
Thanks lovely! x
Love this. I can see it all unfold as I read it Jess and its so something that would happen in this house for sure!!! Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me. I hope to see you again tomorrow for another great round #sharewithme
Jenny recently posted…Letters to him & her ~ #21
Thanks Jenny – where there is a man who wants to watch sport and a woman who wants a break, there’s always a tussle for time!
Ha ha DIY is a very sore point in my house. Hubby hates it with a vengeance that I struggle to put into words (bit of a problem seeing as I’m a writer but hey ho) and I have to say I’m feeling a tad resentful that every single sunny weekend we’ve had so far where I live has been lost to him (resentfully) painting the tiny playroom which is now to be our son’s room. And when that’s done, we’ve got the damned shelves to put up in the storage room. God help me.
Loved this.