The Mummy and the Frog: A Love Story


They say you have to kiss a lot of frogs. I bite the heads off mine. No, no, I’m not talking about potential princes; it’s Freddo Frog who keeps me satisfied.
I’m on my way to pick up my Year 1 son. Sons 2 and 3 are in the back, and I am feeling a little fraught. To paraphrase the mum from Mary Poppins, “though I adore them individualleeee, as a group, you must agree, they’re rather, er, LIVELY”. Let’s just say, I’m preparing for an onslaught. And into every battle one must take rations. My hand slips down to the car door pocket and retrieves the magic pill, the thing that will equip me to deal with the mayhem ahead: a Freddo Frog.
Many, I think, will concur: chocolate has a restorative and calming effect on your mood. If you have not already partaken of his pleasures, may I recommend Freddo, or Freddie as I affectionately call him:
Can be swallowed in one: essential for hiding it from children, who will, obviously, demand one. Disguise the unwrapping noise by simultaneously rustling something else, like a tissue packet. Or unwrap him before putting the kids in the car. The fact these bars are aimed at children is irrelevant. (The optimum number of bites, if you can get away with it, is three, in my view.)
Pleasing girth: Compare it to its poor cousin the long, thin Little Bar, and you will see why I plump for Freddo every time.

Cheap and cheerful: 6 for £1.15! And look at that huge grin! It’s like he wants to be your friend as well as your fancy.
Guilt-free: Well, pretty much, anyway. At 95 calories, you could eat 35 of them and only put on one pound. A pretty good deal, if you ask me. Even I would struggle to eat 35 in one sitting. Although if someone were willing to sponsor me (say, a Freddo for every Freddo eaten), I’d happily give it a go.
A Fanfare for Freddo
As everyone bickers,
Not for me plain old Snickers,
Your Crunchies, your Twixes,
Your vile Pick’n’Mixes,
Your Buttons, Flake, Mars,
your Fruit’n’Nut bars,
your Topics, Maltesers,
your Dimes or your Reese’s,
There’s only one guy that makes my heart go,
He’s small but he’s girthsome, he’s the good frog Freddo.


This is not a sponsored post; the opposite, if anything: I’m pretty sure I keep Cadbury’s in business.
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