How Living With Babies Is Like Living With Students

Rude awakenings in the night and bottles everywhere – having a baby in the house is just like the student days.

Nocturnal

The student, like the baby, is a nocturnal animal. But unfortunately, babies didn’t get the memo on the compensatory lie-in. Bless their darling little cotton socks.

Strange smells

However bad your baby’s nappy may be, it cannot be as bad as the smell of a mouse in the toaster.

Constantly messy

Discarded clothing, pint glasses, pizza crusts, Ginsters packets – welcome to a student sitting room. Baby mess is endless too, but it’s a lot cuter.

Boozy

Once I stopped breastfeeding, I returned to the vino with open arms. Rather like stumbling to the student bar when the hangover cleared.

Evaporating cash

Buying nappies rather than booze; either way your disposable income takes a beating.

Unpredictable

As a student, you never knew when some japesters would turn up giggling with a stolen road sign, or when the smoke alarm would go off because someone had left a sock in the grill. With babies, each day brings new experiences and wonders. The only thing you can predict is that they will do an up-the-backer just as you’re about to leave the house.

Bottles everywhere

After a heavy night, the whole house is strewn with bottles – in the kitchen, on the sofa, in the bathroom. It’s just different stuff inside.

Watching repeats

Hands up who used to watch both showings of Neighbours and Home and Away. Just me? Maybe so, but with little ones, you find yourself half way through an Alphablocks before realizing you saw it this morning.

Unusual attire

The things I used to wear! Not just me – all of us. My four friends and I all bought a pair of different coloured Levis – I’m talking pink, red, turquoise, yellow and white here, not a denim wash spectrum – and wore them out. Together. With pride. And denim jackets. My jeans are more normal now, but in the early baby days they were teamed with a nightshirt barely concealing a breastfeeding bra (clips undone, naturally), a grey cardi with sick on the shoulder and Crocs and socks. Luckily holding a baby in front of you distracts people from your outfit. You hope.

Hazy memory

You can’t remember the details of either period. But the general impression is fuzzy and warm.

A sense of a golden time

Although graduation seems far off, as a student you know that your time of all-dayers is limited. Just as when you have a baby, although each day sometimes feels like an age, you are conscious that with each one that passes, you move closer to a new era in your child’s life.

There may be superficial similarities, but nothing can compare to the baby days. You may not end up with a battered liver, a dodgy wardrobe or a degree which opens doors to a career and self-sufficiency, but you have the most precious gift in the world.

Your child.