Sports Day season is upon us, and it’s your chance to shine. Not only do you get to see your child’s cutely poor lane discipline and heroic recovery after a trip in the sack race, but you get to join in the main event: the Parents’ Race. Here’s some tips on how to take your share of Sports Day glory.
1. Train all year
No gym membership required. The distance you’ll be covering will be similar to sprints you already perform, such as the “Oh! That’s my child falling off the slide!” streak, and the “That’s a road!” dash. The school likes to throw in obstacles and impediments – but again this is true to life. At my race yesterday we had to run balancing a beanbag on a bat – for which I was perfectly prepared by my long experience of running with a baby to stop the other two from harming themselves or each other. Upper body still, legs a blur, people.
2. Don’t dress the part
Wearing your gym kit is way too keen and will make it all the more embarrassing if you don’t win. But do – and I can’t emphasise this enough – wear a bra. Also a full pant. If you a) have to go through a tunnel or b) fall over, you’ll thank me. Best to look as though entering the race hadn’t crossed your mind. A long, floaty silk dress should do it.
3. Choose your heat carefully
Take advantage of the start-line hubbub where slightly uncomfortable adults throng, torn between the joy of joining in, fear of failure and just plain bashfulness. Check out your competition. Usually the competitive dads jostle to be in the first race, while mums step from foot to foot behind, smiling weakly, and the dads who are in their suits and just doing it out of loyalty to their child loiter at the back. Aim to be in a single-sex race (although it’s always nice to beat a man, of course) and go in the first mums’ race: get it over with before the nerves get to you.
4. Disarm the competition
Smile self-deprecatingly and distract your opponents by asking how their kid did. Murmur about your (undefined) “injury”.
5. Make sure your child is looking
After all, you’re only running this race to make them proud / laugh. Right?
6. Don’t miss the start
Don’t get so distracted by your gameplay and waving wildly to get your child’s attention (now you know how they feel), that you miss the whistle. Work out who is starting the race and fix them like a gimlet.
7. Run like you’ve just spotted George Clooney
When that whistle goes, look neither to right not left, and run your little socks off. For 30 metres, be Mo Farah.
8. Win graciously
Whatever you do, don’t do a little skip over the finish line and wave both fists in the air. Who would do that?
So there you have it. As you might have picked up, I did actually, er, WIN! But you don’t have to win to be a winner. You joined in, you made your kid (and probably the crowd) giggle and best of all – you got a sticker!
Of course, my own glory was as naught compared to my children’s. I was so proud of them just for standing still on the start-line in their cute shorts and not picking their nose very much. The fact that my oldest won three races, including the sprint – by a mile – is the icing on the cake.
Never taking this sticker off. Until it goes in the washing machine like all the others.
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Quite right too. Sports day races should be competitive – our kids should learn the value of both striving to and succeeding in achievement, as well as developing the ability to take defeat with good grace. (But preferably the former …)
Absolutely! I need to learn to win a bit more graciously though. It’s only cos it’s so rare!
Yayy well done you, fantastic sticker :). I love these tips, especially the George Clooney one and the wearing the bra one. I now have weird images in my head ☺️
Ha ha, thanks Tas!
I love your sticker, you have to take it everywhere like an Olympic medal. If I won I would find it very very hard not to scream “yeeeessssss” and do a few fist pumps like haha!
I’ve put it on my chest of drawers while I await my custom-made glass display case ;))
Ha this is awesome. I will be sure to follow al these tips in the coming years when I attend my first sports day ha ha #brilliantblogposts
Do it!x
Love this post! Well done all around, your braver than me 🙂 x
i just wanted that sticker ;)x
I’m gutted that our school doesn’t have a moms’ race because I would totally win! #loudandproud
Tee hee hee! I normally hide at the back, and mutter something about not having the right shoes on! You, my love, are a legend and a braver lady than I! Well done though for coming first!! 🙂 xx
Haha you crazy mummy – do you get your elbows ready. Our sports day has gone all team based with no mum’s race – I secretly loved it. Be proud of your sticker ha x
Hilarious! I love the advice on the underwear to be worn – spot on! Thankfully we don’t have parent’s race any more BUT the last time we did have it – I won! Turns out that the skipping race is only any good if you’re height challenged like me yay! Well done for your victory. Thanks for linking up to #loudnproud
I love this post – so funny! Clearly all your preparation over the year has paid off! Congrats on the win! 🙂 Loving the description of Upper body still, legs a blur, lol! 🙂 xx #loudnproud
Well done you! My son has his sports day today, but he told me I didn’t need to come…!?! #Brillblogposts #loudnproud
Yay! Go you! I dream of winning the mums’ race. I’ve got a 2nd and a 3rd, but never a first. I’d thrash them over a mile or more though.
hahaha! I wish my girls school would do a mums race but saying that it would probably end in a fist fight….lol
Well done you x
Laughing too much to say anything clever – the bra and the full pant finished me off. Well done for winning, hope that’s a portent for the 20th.
Sounds like great fun!!
This has made me giggle. My dad once won the father’s race, but I would never, ever enter the mother’s race, my child is so competitive he would probably disown me if I lost.
#BrilliantBlogposts
Run like you’ve just spotted George Clooney – ha ha ha. This made me laugh. I have Little A’s sports day coming up very soon. And you won! You won! And did you punch your fist in the air *hopes you did*? X
Oh this had me chortling into my coffee this morning – particularly as we’ve got our first sports day coming up. Now I know how to prepare!
Ha ha, thanks! You must win!
Love this-run like you’ve seen George Clooney-my Uncle is the double of him so wonder what Sports Day is like at my cousin’s school! Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts
Hilarious, especially as we’ve just come home from sports day – I managed to negotiate the second year in a row of not running and managed to get Daddy to do it instead! Result 🙂 He topped last year today by coming second to last instead of last – woohoo! No champions in this family – it’s all about the taking part 😉
(As we’re all as useless and uncompetitive as each other)
Brilliant! As a very competitive Mummy I loved this! Will be adopting all of these come Sprts Day 🙂 Jess xxx
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