The Christmas Quiz for Parents

There’s nothing like a festive quiz for passing the night in merriment / causing massive inter-spouse rows at Christmas. If you have a gathering of friends or family one evening, why not try this Christmas Quiz?


Round 1: Snog, Marry, Avoid

In case you don’t know the rules of this inestimable game, you are given three names and have to decide whether you would snog, marry or avoid them (this is the PG version after all):
  1. Kwazii, Captain Barnacles and Peso
  2. Andy, Mister Bloom and Alex
  3. Cerrie, Cat and Nina
  4. Kate’s dad in Kate and Mim-Mim, Old Jack and Grandpa (of In My Pocket fame)
  5. Mr Tumble, Justin and Captain Adorable

Round 2: General Parental Knowledge
  1. Is the step from one to two worse than two to three children?
  2. Name the two last CBeebies Christmas pantos.
  3. Who is more annoying, Tig in Woolly and Tig or Jason from Grandpa in My Pocket?
  4. Give an example of a diagraph.
  5. What does the mouse tell the snake is the Gruffalo’s favourite food?
  6. What is the lady car in Cars called?
  7. What does the hungry caterpillar eat on Thursday?
  8. Has Granny Murray ever done anything but smile?
  9. What is Peppa and George’s baby cousin called?
  10. When do babies sleep through the night? a) at two weeks b) at three months c) still waiting.

Bonus round: Roxanauts

You may have played the brilliant drinking game, Roxanne. So simple it’s genius. You listen to the Police song Roxanne, half of you drink when Sting sings “Roxanne”, the other half when he sings, “you don’t have to put on a red light”.

Well, for the parents’ version, simply find an episode of Octonauts and as much booze as possible. Everyone choose a character: Kwazii, Barnacles, Peso and the star creature of that particular episode are the main ones. If you have more than four players, choose two each from Shellington, Dashi, Tweak, Professor Inkling, the Tunips and whatever secondary sea creature is going down in that show. Whenever your character speaks, take a draught. Also be attentive to the following rules:

“Sound the Octoalert!” – everyone takes a shot.

Whenever Barnacles patronises Dashi or Tweak – dads down their drinks.

Theme music – everyone runs around pretending to be driving a Gup. And drinking.

Note: Anyone caught Googling has to neck their drink plus the person to their left’s.

Let me me know your answers in the comments – I’m especially intrigued about the split between Andy and Mister Bloom admirers.

Merry Christmas 
and a Happy New Year!

Yours Wryly,
Jess

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